Gary Thomas on Marriage & Family

I'm taking a class this week at Western Seminary taught by Gary Thomas. The class is called "Developing Strong Families." It is in an intensive format. We read a couple of books prior to class. We are in class all day, every day this week. Then we'll have a project to complete afterwards.

I am one day into it, and I am very excited about this class. Gary Thomas is a passionate, well informed speaker. But more importantly, he has something to say. That is, his take on marriage is unlike any other I've heard. It is both inspiring me, and rocking my world a bit. And that combination works for me. Today he was teaching on marriage. The subtitle to his book, Sacred Marriage, pretty much gives away his punchline; "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

I hope to post more throughout the week regarding what I'm learning. For tonight, I'll simply give you a few of my favorite quotes (or at least what I wrote down) from Gary from today's class:


"Before God set up the church, he set up the family."

"If only the most mature are called to celicaby/singleness, that would mean all kids are raised by the least mature…would this be God’s design?"

"If I get married because I choose to, I can always change my mind. If I get married because God calls me to, I don't have the option of quitting."

"If you want to serve Jesus, stay single…if you want to be like Jesus get married."

"Most couples don’t fall out of love, they fall out of repentance."

"It's not a 'how to' issue, it's a 'heart to' issue."

"Does your wife feel like she is married to Jesus?" (see Ephesians 5)

"A 'difficult marriage' is redundant! All marriages are difficult...the point of marriage is to change us."

Ride:Well Tour

Most of you in Portland probably already know about the Ride:Well Tour. But in case you don't, and for my other readers I want to introduce you to a great thing. My buddy Don Miller is riding his bike across the country to bring awareness to the need for fresh water wells all throughout Africa. Don explains his adventure in a short video promo here:



You can track Don's trip, give to this cause, and read his journal entries here.

To Repent, Or Not To Repent?

First things first, it's been over 3 months since I've posted here. I'd apologize, but quite honestly I don't know if anyone has noticed. If you have, by all means accept my apologies.

The reason for the long absence? I'll blame it on facebook stealing my small discretionary computer time, and my "to do" list getting out of control. My assistant, Lisa, literally forced me to clean off my desk today. We uncovered over 20 sticky notes full of tasks. (It should be noted at this point that, in addition to my sticky notes, I also have a running list of tasks on my computer.) So I turned my sticky notes into a stylish beard.

Now, to a more serious matter...repentance. You may have heard all the chatter in the past few months about the "repentance" coming from Willow Creek Church, arguable the most influential church in respect to the seeker sensitive movement. If you need to stop and get caught up on this story, you can read about it here, here, and here.

Well, now it seems that "repentance" is not as clear as it seems. Check out this video of an interview with lead pastor Bill Hybels.



Now I am not a Hybels hater. I have a ton of respect for Bill Hybels. I think his motivation for ministry is pure. You would be hard pressed to find a man with a more evangelistic heart our there. This man's heart breaks for lost souls, and I'm drawn to that. Yet this interview bothered me as I watched it.

Let me contrast it with my pastor, Rick McKinley. A couple weeks ago Rick repented to our congregation...during the sermon! And this is not the first time he has done this. Occasionally he repents for something personal. Occasionally he will repent on behalf of the elders and leaders of the church for making mistakes. I want to be clear that this is not a regular occurrence. If a pastor was repenting weekly, one would wonder what he was doing in that position. Yet Rick is modeling something for us that is beautiful. All of us need the gospel, not just the "lost." The gospel exists for believers as well. It's Rick's understanding that repentance is a gift. It is what leads us to be transformed deeper and deeper into the image of Christ.

This is what baffles me. All the buzz I heard about Willow Creek "repenting" was that this was a noble and positive move for them. And now Bill Hybels seems to be stepping in to debunk it. I'm not sure if he is being self-protective, or what is going on. I have no less respect for him. It would be incredibly arrogant of me to criticize him. I don't know him. But I will say this; I want to be a Christian who is known as a man who repents when mistakes are made. I don't want to protect my image. I want the spotlight to shine on Jesus. I'm not saying Bill Hybels wants anything different. This video just stirred up many thoughts within me, and reminded me of who I want to become.

How Cosmic Is Your Salvation?

As part of my job, I get the privilege of being shepherded by a great pastor. We have pastors' meetings twice a month where he leads us, shapes us, challenges us, and loves us. It's really an amazing privilege. The past couple meetings have been rocking me. He's leading us through the most basic of stuff, yet the most profound of stuff...the gospel. What is the gospel? If we are followers of Jesus, we know, right? Not so fast...

I would say that the majority of people like me, who have been nurtured in their faith in the evangelical church, have largely subscribed to a gospel that is very personal. Me and Jesus. Jesus died for me. For my sins. If I was the only person here on earth, Jesus would still have died on the cross for me. Really? Why? If that scenario were actually true, would the cross have actually been necessary? The truth is that the cross is indeed the centerpiece of all history, but it lies at the center of a story of redemption that is huge. Now, all the personal implications of the gospel that I have been trained to espouse are certainly true. My faith is a personal thing. But it's not ONLY a personal thing. To remain in a place solely standing in Christ work of justification for me is a very limited understanding of the gospel.

The truth is that Jesus is reconciling all things to himself. This began in Genesis 3, and will continue until the days that John describes at the end of the Revelation given to him by Jesus. This doesn't make substitutionary atonement any less central to salvation, or limit it's importance in any way. It simply says that there is more. Our atonement falls in the midst of a grand narrative of redemption whereby God is putting all things back together. God's redemptive plan includes us, but is so much bigger than us. Colossians 1:15-23 gives you a window into this.

These, I suppose, are mostly rambling thoughts coming off of a meeting this morning that was super challenging. But I'd throw out the question to you; "when you stop and reflect on the enormity of God's redemptive plan, how does this affect you? What reaction does it cause in you? What does it make you want to change about your life?" My mind immediately goes in a couple different directions, but I'd love to first hear thoughts from you...

Is There Success In God's Economy?

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, and there was a comment made in passing that was not central to the topic at hand. Yet, I have not been able to shake it. It's gotten in my head and won't leave me alone.

Jeff Henderson is the campus pastor at Buckhead Church in Atlanta (a plant off of North Point Community Church). He was talking about how his team pursues excellence rather than success. Here was his simple observation;

success is measuring yourself against others, while excellence is measuring yourself against your own potential.

Hmmm. If, in God's kingdom, we are to be focused more on others than ourselves it would beg the question; "is there such thing as success in God's economy?" That is to say, if success is measuring yourself against others (with the obvious implication that I am trying to surpass others) would this not fly in the face of all the values that define God's Kingdom?

This thought has rocked me on multiple levels. In regards to how I desire to be perceived. In regards to how I pursue my career, or my ministry (which happen to be one and the same in my case). How I embody my role as husband, father, and friend.

If I am trying to live a successful life, I am living a competitive life. I am trying to be perceived as better than most. As long as I am at least one percent above average, that's something. And, with work, I could be perceived as in the top 10% or even 5% of whatever. I am one of the most happy people around. Secure. Mature. Fill in the blank. If I am living a competive life then the drive is to be successful. I need to be better at my job than others who may be in some sort of competition (known or unknown to me). I need to be a better husband than most. I guess to be successful is pretty much all about perception in the end...

But if I am trying to live an excellent life, that all of a sudden feels very different. There's no competition with anyone (except myself). In my work and minsitry, I need not worry about measuring myself against others, but rather against the potential God has placed within me. I need not compare myself to other husbands or fathers, but rather become the best husband and father I can be. I need not worry about how I am perceived, but rather how I am growing into the person I can become.

On the one hand, this thought is incredibly freeing, as it releases me from the grips of trying to please and impress other people. On the other hand, it feels like the bar has just been raised by an infinite proportion signing me up for a life of nonstop change and growth. I don't really have an end goal that is within reach. I've always found comfort in the idea of arriving.

This is really messing with me...

Money Money Money

We are in the middle of a series on money at my church. Rick's sermon yesterday was super powerful. He really honed right in on arguably the root issue behind our issues with money: greed. You can get the podcast on itunes, or download it here. Every week I write sermon summaries for the use of our home community leaders. Below is an excerpt of the one I wrote today for this week's sermon.

Here we go...the church talking about money again. Why do we have to do this? Quite simply, as a faith community centered on Jesus, our desire is to ask all the hard questions of life in our pursuit of following Christ more closely as we grow. If the gospel isn’t preached in the biggest spot of idolatry in any given culture, the gospel is not truly preached. Is money the biggest idol in our culture? That’s hard to say, but if you are uncomfortable or annoyed that the church is preaching about money, it is probably a worthy question to fight through. Jesus was always talking about money and possessions, so it’s hard to say that it’s the church’s agenda. It would actually seem quite odd if we never preached about it (seeing that it was quite central to Jesus’ teaching). But here’s the real question. How can one possibly say that they trust the church with the care of their spiritual development, their time (as they volunteer), and even to care for their kids ... And yet not trust Christ’s bride with their cash? If that defines you, there is a need to elevate your understanding of your spiritual development to include your possessions and cash.

You can read the rest of this summary, and find links to older posts (if you're interested) here.

U23D